It’s been 3 years and 3 months since I had a uterine inversion following the birth of my first baby. During the actual inversion and the hurried dash to the OR, I had no control over anything and was, oddly, at peace with the chaos. I tend to be a control freak, but I knew there was nothing I could control about it. I just breathed as deeply as possible when they told me to (to knock me out) and tried to listen to everything else being said around me.
What I hadn’t fully processed, as I’m realizing, was how my husband and family responded to that day. I remember my phone call with my best friend that day. She was in tears and processing that “I almost lost you today.”
My little sister had her first baby last night. She and baby are healthy and great, however, she did have some PP bleeding. It’s a common complication, but, as her sister, it’s been hard on me. It’s a reminder that sometimes, things are complicated when having a baby. It’s not a minor miracle to see a healthy baby and mommy (not to mention all of the struggles some women have just trying to get pregnant and carry a pregnancy to term).
Mom told me today, “Your birth experience still ranks as the scariest and most dramatic one yet”, when we were talking about postpartum delivery complications. I’m realizing how hard that day must have been for them.
It’s been a tough day for me. I’m also remembering that I missed the first couple of hours of my baby’s life due to the emergency surgery. They thought I was having a hysterectomy. My husband and I said our “I love you” and I got pulled away, leaving him standing there with our 7 minute old. He had to then call my parents, who were excitedly waiting for the “He’s here!” call, and instead tell them, “CJ’s OK, but you need to come quick, Katie’s in surgery.” Mom says it was the best and worst phone call they’ve ever received.
I, honestly, didn’t expect today to hit so hard. It’s a happy day that brought a new family member. I’m just remembering how delicate and precious life really is too.